Message from the Pastoral Care and Eldership Team (PaCET) for Sunday Meeting 8th September 2024

Dear Friends,

Staying in Santa Barbara recently my elder daughter came across a rock in a park into which was carved a quote from the late poet, Mary Oliver, which read Sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am to be blessed. My daughter was so struck by these words that she sent me a photograph for which I was grateful. I needed to be reminded of this experience, which is open to all of us.

No doubt we are all aware of the question William Henry Davies posed in the poem Leisure which asked What is this life if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare?

It would be easy to imagine that when the latter was written in 1911, the demands of daily life were less. Speaking, or writing, as a woman I am not sure this would have been so without automatic washing machines, driers, vacuum cleaners, and modern inventions of all shapes and sizes. Perhaps time to be still had to be carved out of a hectic schedule then just as much as in 2024.

Five times in every twenty-four hours, at dawn, noon, mid-afternoon, sunset and evening, the call to prayer rings out in Islamic countries, requiring the faithful to take time out for what really matters, for surrender to something greater than themselves.

The spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, similarly urges his followers to stop periodically each day to come into Presence. I know this to be of great benefit but I forget to do it because I am too busy being busy.

Busy doing what though? I gave up my one-day-a-week retirement job nearly a year ago. My grandchildren are mostly past needing supervision, collecting from nursery/school, or even babysitting. Sadly, I no longer have a dog demanding daily walks. I live in a miniscule home which requires few hours in terms of housework and I have a postage stamp of a garden. When I come across someone I have not seen for a while and they ask what I have been doing since we last met, I flounder around trying to recall what I have been up to (a) that would be even faintly worth speaking of or (b) at all.

Advices & Queries encourages us to attend what love requires of you, which may not be great busyness. Does that mean what love requires of us in terms of caring for ourselves and our wellbeing, to love and care for others, or both?

There is a stage of life when we are likely to be faced with health issues of one sort or another, or even myriad problems if we are unlucky. This is not only on a personal level, but also concerning those within our social circle. I have taken to making notes of who is having what procedure, operation, treatment session or medical appointment, where and when. At first glance this may read as being dispassionate, but is to ensure I do not fail in my friendship when physical and mental challenges of those I am fond of have become too numerous and complex to retain in my far from retentive memory. I am by no means alone; there is a network of oldies offering care and support for those they know and love which is heart-warming. I have been on the receiving end of the kindness of (F)friends and am grateful for it. Add these commitments, however, to the body preserving exercise classes, the mind stimulating U3A sessions, the age-related maintenance visits to chiropodists, dentists, chiropractors and time runs through wrinkled fingers.

I am thoroughly enjoying most of what it means to be in the autumn of life, otherwise known as being elderly. I appreciate the freedom from work worries and child rearing responsibilities. I have dug myself a very pleasant, comfortable little rut and am very happy in it. Am I, however, unconsciously creating a busyness into each day to avoid a sense of emptiness, or the threat of one? A vacuum? Am I unwittingly depriving myself of the chance to stand and stare?

Those of us who are lucky enough to stay around long enough to grow old are granted the enormous privilege of being more able to live consciously. It would be a shame not to take this opportunity occasionally to stop what we are doing and come into Presence or stand wherever we are to be blessed.

Judy Lee

on behalf of the Pastoral Care and Eldership Team (David Hitchin, Chris Lawson, Tim Pitt-Payne, Caroline Pybus, Theresa Samms and Nancy Wall)