Message from the Pastoral Care and Eldership Team (PaCET) for Sunday Meeting 24th November 2024

Dear Friends,

Some weeks ago, a few Lewes Meeting Friends began to think about whether we should consider offering to help Friends who need to make new wills. This came up in a PaCET meeting. (PaCET Friends are traditionally responsible as elders and overseers and meet together to discuss relevant issues on a monthly basis.) These matters do need to be thought through as circumstances do change from time to time.

We thought carefully about this. Clearly some Friends do find themselves in difficulty when a partner or a relative is no longer able to help. For many people, the awkward question as to who should have the care of their will is hard to perceive.

PaCET duly discussed this carefully. We discovered that several Friends had already agreed to help Friends whom they know well. Clearly in this situation it would be difficult to take on more individual Friends’ needs unless others would be in a position to join in and help.

Those of us who have already dealt with wills know that they can involve considerable effort. A very good friend of mine (not a Quaker), faced with her late husband’s will, had complex wishes to distribute. It took two years. Not everyone leaves wills with complications but a will set up some years ago can be rather difficult to deal with later.

Considering these matters, PaCET members came to the conclusion that our Meeting should not directly offer to help individual Friends. If our meeting were blessed with Friends of long standing, many of whom were middle aged, and obviously willing to help, our conclusion might be very different. But in reality, our meeting has many elderly Friends. It might be impossible to find Friends who are young enough to provide the necessary help for others.

It might be very helpful if those of our Friends who attend our meeting and are really knowledgeable about wills could help in a general way. Setting out some useful ideas as to how Friends might proceed with a necessary new will could perhaps provide some good clues.

My will is already looking a bit out of date and may need some minor changes. Its only 9 years old! Its worth keeping an eye on your will to stay sure that it still fits your circumstances.

Nancy

on behalf of the Pastoral Care and Eldership Team (David Hitchin, Chris Lawson, Tim Pitt-Payne, Caroline Pybus, Theresa Samms and Nancy Wall)