Message from the Pastoral Care and Eldership Team (PaCET) for Sunday Meeting 31st May 2026

Dear Friends,

I wish I was a better Quaker than I am! That probably sounds like the start of a nursery story, but it comes from the realities of life colliding with the idealism of being a Friend.

I am a member of a club in Lewes that has recently become very toxic over an important development for its future. I have tried to approach the toxicity with calmness, dignity, and respect for others, but I find myself caught in the trap of having to choose between, on the one hand, keeping my dignity and being walked over, or, on the other, standing up for what I believe is right and being seen as a troublemaker in a tactical battle. My thoughts are drawn to all those prisoners of despotic regimes who refuse to sacrifice their integrity despite awful oppression, but does it help when what I think of as a respectful and dignified stance is seen as weakness or passive aggression by others?

There is no simple answer. Maybe I just have to make my peace with the fact that circumstances conspire to make me a lesser Friend than I strive to be.

Chris Bowers

Quakers value diversity. We share this Friend’s message in the hope it will speak to others.

Pastoral Care and Eldership Team: Patricia Cockrell, David Hitchin, Sharon Krummel, Tim Pitt-Payne, Theresa Samms, Emily Slater.