Message from the Pastoral Care and Eldership Team (PaCET) for Sunday Meeting 7th June 2026

Dear Friends,

“Any news of absent Friends?” I wonder if you, like me, never quite know how to answer this valuable question when it comes up in notices.

My problem takes several guises.  Who counts as friends in this context? Surely not just members, that would be clear-cut, but over exclusive. ‘Attenders’ is less exclusive, but ill-defined, and  taking ‘friends’ to be those we somehow regard as ‘one of us’ feels too Thatcher-esque.

And what about  “absent”?  Attendance is not compulsory. We are not taking the register, so how many weeks do you have to miss  before you are absent? In addition, people may be sensitive about what is said about them publicly,  so what should we say? Furthermore there are people in meeting whose faces we recognise, but whom we do not know personally. If such a person stops coming, we are prone not actually  to notice. Out of sight out of mind. They may actually value contact however.

To foster true community we each need to take sensitive initiatives to get to know each other better. We may need to overcome our own shyness.

Community is the focus of chapter 10 Quaker Faith and Practice. From it I choose two paragraphs :-

One of the unexpected things I have learnt in my life as a Quaker is that religion is basically about relationships between people. This was an unexpected discovery, because I had been brought up to believe that religion was essentially about our relationship with God. …

George Gorman, 1982 QF&P 10.20 (part)

Our life is love, and peace, and tenderness; and bearing one with another, and forgiving one another, and not laying accusations one against another; but praying one for another, and helping one another up with a tender hand.

Isaac Penington 1667, QF&P 10.01

Bob Harwood

Quakers value diversity. We share this Friend’s message in the hope it will speak to others.

Pastoral Care and Eldership Team: Patricia Cockrell, David Hitchin, Sharon Krummel, Tim Pitt-Payne, Theresa Samms, Emily Slater.