Message from the Pastoral Care and Eldership Team (PaCET) for Sunday Meeting 2nd August 2026

Dear Friends,

In 1985 Alice Wiser said, “Each of us is responsible for our own actions and reactions. We are not responsible for someone else’s actions and reactions.” (Quaker Faith & Practice 21.16)

I find it easier to agree with her first assertion – yes I did make that wrong choice, or no I shouldn’t have got annoyed at that time. But there are times when I also feel responsible, partially at least, for another’s actions, if not reactions. If I had brought my child up differently, perhaps he would not have done that for example. I believe that we are connected with those around us and do influence them in a variety of ways, albeit unintentionally and unconsciously. Understanding and reflecting on our effect on situations can open the way to peace and forgiveness.

In 1985 Kenneth C Barnes wrote “It is by our ‘imperfections’ that we move towards each other, towards wholeness of relationship.” (Quaker Faith & Practice 21.07) That is a reassuring idea; partly because it assumes that we are self aware and open to others about our failings and weaknesses; and also because it assumes that understanding and forgiveness are inherent parts of our nature

Jenny Wistreich

Quakers value diversity. We share this Friend’s message in the hope it will speak to others.

Pastoral Care and Eldership Team: David Hitchin, Sharon Krummel, Tim Pitt-Payne, Emily Slater.